Thursday, September 27, 2007

mahalo, come again

Back from my "business trip" to Kauai. ;) Hahah. Some random thoughts/observations I had throughout the week:
  • I won't dare describe the sunsets.
  • Hawaiians are the nicest people you'll ever meet.
  • Kauai is the wettest place on earth. It's fun running for cover when the sun's out shining so brightly only moments before.
  • There are roosters and chickens everywhere. Strutting around the roads, on people's lawns, even in the dense forests. They're like the pigeons of Hawaii.
  • Hawaiians end their sentences with an inquisitive "yeah?" a lot of the time.
  • People wear Hawaiian shirts to work. And their typical work day ends around 4pm.
  • I befriended a nice owner of a souvenir shop who turned out to be korean. When asked about my marital status, she got angry when I told her that I still unmarried. She gave me a fifty percent discount off of everything, and she also threw in a shell necklace for free. Connections!
  • The sushi is really bad. Their cooked fish delicacies are excellent.
  • It's really fun saying "mahalo" to people. I absent-mindedly said it on a couple occasions when I should have said "aloha," but Hawaiians are probably used to ignorant tourists by now.
  • A rainbow's end really exists! Optical illusion, light refraction.. call it what you want, but it was twenty feet away from me. This wasn't like the time in third grade when I thought I found a four-leaf clover.
  • I found a product called "Donkey Balls" at the local market. I really regret not buying it.

Friday, September 21, 2007


Not completely sure what compelled me to write this.

A recent string of events, revealing conversations, and even my dreams have led me to believe that life was fighting to get my attention. And now I've reached a point where there's nothing else I can do but listen. Here are some of the things I'm hearing.

The passing of time. It's incredible what it can do to a person. A lot of hurt can be eventually forgotten. It just so happens that the valuable lessons we've learned and once swore to live by can be forgotten just as easily. Hence the reason why we continue making the same mistakes over and over again. Well, your friends love you anyway. You learn to crawl again, or maybe you're able to hit the ground running. In either case, life moves forward.

But I'm beginning to see that the older we get, the more the scenery changes and as things fade to gray, how necessary it's becoming to believe in something that doesn't. Change, that is. To believe in something that's always been there, always familiar, always accepting. Always. Best friends, lovers, family... they all come pretty close. But even then, you're left with a quiet desire that remains to be fulfilled.

And then, maybe on some idle afternoon, that desire just wakes up completely and doesn't leave you be. At first, you entertain this desire with silly questions, which quickly grows in all seriousness before you know it. After a while, it's not even about seeking the answers anymore. It evolved into a self-defense mechanism. You realize that you've ironically wrapped yourself with these questions to protect you from the answers you don't want to hear.

I believe the light is faithful enough to eventually break through any cover we place over ourselves. And the warmth it brings could feel strange at first, even discomforting to a degree, but soon you'll begin to wonder how you were ever without it. Breakthrough.

The question I ask myself is, could I live the rest of my life without feeling the assurances that christians are supposed to have? I'm not even talking about a life-lasting search for inexplicable joy and happiness. The truth is all I want. I'm willing to wrestle with it. And the way I understand it now.. joy, happiness, and an unwavering peace will soon follow. Give me the assurances.

Trying is never easy. Letting go can be impossible. At the end of the day, I might have failed miserably. Heck, even before I step out the door. But because He never changes, I swear I hope this is true, it's enough reason to keep going. I'm trying, God. For I know that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, and I believe the best is still yet to come.

I'm still listening. So please, speak up.

Sunday, September 09, 2007


I went to a weekend getaway in san diego with paul, roach and butch. I think I spent most of my time playing around with GarageBand on paul's macbook. Here's a love song I composed for him. I'm calling it, Ode to Funk:

So fun. Time to really consider getting a macbook. And a harmonica.

Monday, September 03, 2007


I noticed that my vacuum cleaner hums in the key of F#.